The Sacred Order of Streamers · est. whenever the founder says

SNOT

S.N.O.T stands for Streamers, Not Occult. Totally.

A Twitch creator team so welcoming, so devoted, so suspiciously well-organized that we legally have to keep saying it: it’s not a cult.

Behold the Members Watch on Twitch ↗

Chapter I

The Tenets

Every totally normal streaming community has bylaws. Ours are just… laminated.

I

Thou Shalt Lurk

Lurkers are sacred. Speak or speak not — the algorithm counts your presence either way, and so do we. Always.

II

Thou Shalt Not Call It A Cult

It is a community. Communities have merch. Cults have robes. Our robes are merch, which proves the point.

III

Thou Shalt Raid Thy Neighbor

When one stream ends, the flock migrates as one. This is called “a raid” and is completely normal behavior for a non-cult.

IV

Thou Shalt Hydrate

The Founder says hydrate, chat types “HYDRATE,” everyone drinks in unison. Coordinated group behavior. Totally fine.

V

Thou Shalt Not Microwave the Tea

The one unforgivable sin. We do not explain this tenet. Those who know, know. Those who microwave, answer to the kettle.

VI

Thou Shalt Keep the Secret

The secret is that we are not a cult. Guard it with your life. Tell everyone. That’s how secrets work here.

Chapter II

The Anointed

Eighteen streamers. Approximately seven thousand spaceships. One is chosen by the sigil every time this page loads — refresh to witness the cycle turn. Those currently performing the rite (live) stand at the front of the procession. Click any member to open their Sacred Dossier.

0cults operated
18totally normal members
0team followers (souls optional)
0souls in the ritual right now
ships lost to the void
24/7chanting (optional)

Chapter III

Words of the Witnesses

Unsolicited*, unedited**, unpaid*** testimonials from the flock.

“I joined for the gameplay. I stayed because the community is amazing and for absolutely no other reason. Please post this exactly as written.”

— Follower #4413

“They said we were going on a quick roam. That was six hours ago. I have seen things in null-sec no miner should see. 10/10, joining again tomorrow.”

— Fleet member, still in fleet

“They said membership was free and leaving was easy. I checked. Both true. I simply choose to be here 9 hours a day.”

— Local lurker, day 341

“It’s not a cult. A cult would never let you mod TWO channels.”

— Moderator of two channels

*solicited  **edited  ***paid in channel points

The Prophecy

The Merch Table

Tenet II is about to become load-bearing: our robes are merch, and soon the merch shall be yours. Vestments, relics, and garments of the Order — currently being woven by the Founder’s own rites (and a print-on-demand service).

Behold the Coming Relics ↗

Opening upon the next alignment. Souls not accepted as payment. We checked. Legally.

Chapter IV

Frequently Asked Questions

Mostly one question, asked frequently.

Is SNOT a cult?

No.

Are you sure?

Yes. We took a vote. It was unanimous, as all our votes are.

Then why the robes?

Comfort. Have you worn a robe? Exactly.

Why does everyone type the same thing in chat at the same time?

That’s called an emote wall and it is a celebrated Twitch tradition. The fact that it resembles chanting is a coincidence we do not appreciate you pointing out.

How do I leave the team?

You can leave at any time! The door is right over there. Behind the merch table. Past the Founder’s desk. Through the room where we all hang out and have a great time. Most people don’t make it past that room, honestly.

Why is almost everyone playing EVE Online?

Because EVE Online is the only video game whose community structure is legally indistinguishable from a cult, and frankly, we feel seen. The spreadsheets are scripture. The undock is the sermon.

What does SNOT stand for?

Officially: Streamers, Not Occult. Totally. Unofficially, the acronym was chosen before the words, which is the most streamer thing imaginable.

Is this website legally binding?

Only the part where you agreed it’s not a cult. That part is forever.

Ready to Ascend?

Membership is free. Leaving is also free. We simply cannot imagine why you would.

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